Joke Time

[theoriginalblurker]

Got this joke from a_dodecahedron on Monday, and I really liked it.

What's orange, and sounds like a parrot?



A carrot!



I can't stop giggling.

Do you guys have any jokes to share?


EDIT: Ok, so it was from a_dodecahedron. I get these two mixed up all the time. ;)

Comments

[la-directora.livejournal.com]

That must be a left-brained, engineer type joke, since it doesn't make me giggle at all. :)

Here are two my mother sent me:
------
Two blondes were reading their daily newspapers and one of them sees a headline that says:

"TWO BRAZILIAN SOLDIERS KILLED"

She thinks for a minute, and then whispers to her friend, "Psssst.....how many is a brazilian?"
------
A woman decided to try to understand football so she could watch it with her husband on Sunday afternoons. She watched with him for a few weeks, at the end of which he said, "So, do you understand football now?" She said, "Yeah, I think I do, but it all seems pretty pointless. I mean, the start the game by tossing a quarter, and then they spend the rest of the game trying to get the quarter back."
------

That's all I've got for the moment. :)

Bush-bashing

[tikvah.livejournal.com]

I've heard the Brazilian soldier joke, only it was making fun of W, not blondes. Much more entertaining that way. ;-)

Re: Bush-bashing

[la-directora.livejournal.com]

True enough.

And what the heckfire are you doing with a cat usericon? Doesn't it make you sneeze?

Re: Bush-bashing

[tikvah.livejournal.com]

The kitten belongs to a friend of a friend, and she was so photogenic I had to grab a few pix. I like cats well enough (other than psycho cats who are menaces to humanity), as long as I don't have to breathe in their dander for very long.

[kcarp.livejournal.com]

Heh. I heard the first one as a Bush joke.

K

[kcarp.livejournal.com]

Obviously, you need to go to this page. http://www.niehs.nih.gov/kids/jokes.htm

Bri has just started a snake project, so you can guess which ones are in constant repetition and expansion here.

K

[greeneyes-rpi.livejournal.com]

Ok, I liked this one:

What do you call a pig with three eyes?
A piiig

[arenson9.livejournal.com]

You rock. The carrot and piiig jokes are totally cracking me up.

[hwrnmnbsol.livejournal.com]

No jokes, exactly, but I love the one-liners of Mitch Hedberg:

"Wearing a turtleneck is like being strangled by a really weak guy, all day. Wearing a backpack and a turtleneck is like a weak midget trying to bring you down."

[la-directora.livejournal.com]

I carry a backpack almost every day, though I rarely wear turtlenecks. I promise the next time I leave the house, I'm going to have myself a little giggle at the image of the midget on my back. (I guess he's just REALLY weak and can't strangle me.)

[greeneyes-rpi.livejournal.com]

My little midget is sitting next to me on the floor waiting for us to leave. He holds my tablet hostage, so I have to take him with me.


I think he's giving me the eye...or that may be an eyelet.

[a-dodecahedron.livejournal.com]

Hee. Thank you, but you actually got that from drangelo, who heard it in the Obligatory Pirate's Cove. I got one, though.

What does a mermaid mathematician wear?

An algae bra.

[drangelo.livejournal.com]

Algae bra! Excellent!

Oh, and dodec is right - it was from KoL, and I mentioned it along with the following:

What's gold and sounds like a pirate?

Pyrite.

And then, of course, there was the one with the ship's wheel...

[greeneyes-rpi.livejournal.com]

Oh, I get you two mixed up all the time. :)