Ouch

[theoriginalblurker]

Imitrex tastes bad
Migraine headache won't go 'way
This should be a haiku

But it's not.

Comments

[drelmo.livejournal.com]

You couldn't come up with a two-syllable equivalent to "go away" without poetic elision? Shame.

Truly classical haiku should have an allusion to a season, or at least some natural element in them.

But, of course, English haiku are fairly silly in the first place; English syllables are hugely variable in length and can contain three or four times as much semantic content as a Japanese syllable.

Probably someone should popularize a short-short poem form that fits the English language.

Anyway, take some narcotics and go take a long nap in a blackout room. Peace out.

[greeneyes-rpi.livejournal.com]

I have no words.

Oh...yes I do, "bite me."

[drelmo.livejournal.com]

A clever person
Would truly have rebuked me
With wintry haiku

[greeneyes-rpi.livejournal.com]

Clever <> Migraine

[drelmo.livejournal.com]

Spike springs through temple
Glass-edged rainbows dance in mind
Broken trains derailed

[greeneyes-rpi.livejournal.com]

Ooh! That's a nice one!

You're forgiven for being a pain in my butt.

[tubin.livejournal.com]

You've obviously never had a migraine? They're definitely a force of nature, as destructive as "winter storm" or "spring rains" or whatever you usually see in haiku.

Woke with a migraine
Winter sunlight killing me
I will whimper now

[tubin.livejournal.com]

"Probably someone should popularize a short-short poem form that fits the English language."

They have. It's called "limerick".

Do you wonder why I am so gruff?
Migraines are nasty stuff
I'll vomit to start
then my head splits apart
More drugs! I just can't get enough...

Er. not that great, but I'm in a hurry...

[drelmo.livejournal.com]

I thought about limericks, but.

Haiku were co-opted largely for pedagogic purposes: short, with strict rules for form and even content, they could be crafted by even the most poetry-mute student. Modulo their unsuitability for English, a haiku is perfect for crafting a single image in poetic language.

Limericks are fairly long for that sort of thing and, probably most importantly, are generally decidedly unpoetic in content (in the sense of vivid imagery and density of thought).

As ridiculously left-brained as I am, I could probably craft a sufficiently-rigid form. Check the blog later.

[la-directora.livejournal.com]

I interpreted her word choices as being symbollic of the fractured way one sees the world when one has a migraine. Including the extra syllable in the last line, and the choice to make it not a true limeric. But maybe that's just me.

Hey, Green Eyes, feel better fast! Migraines suck, I know.

[greeneyes-rpi.livejournal.com]

That was almost exactly what happened. :)

I wrote:

Migraine headache won't go away
Imitrex tastes bad
This should be a haiku

Then I switched the first two lines, removed one syllable, purposely left in the "a" in the last line, and added, "but it's not," 'cause it's not.

la_directora wins!

[gentlyepigrams]

*hugs*

Feel better soon.

[greeneyes-rpi.livejournal.com]

Thanks. Go smack drelmo for me, would you? ;)

[kcarp.livejournal.com]

Forget about work
Take the Irish cream chaser
Dream sweet winter dreams

(Please feel better soon
Tomorrow night I'm single
And need a hot date.)